OK I have a confession to make to you. I have to admit that Valentine's Day has this way of sneaking up on me every year.
So THIS YEAR, I'm going to be intentional about giving you ENOUGH TIME to prepare for this the most infamous of holidays…at least as far as your relationships with women go.
Now sure, you know that deep down I'd love to join in the chorus of "macho" pickup and seduction experts that suggest you "just say no" to Valentine's Day and just tell the chick(s) you're seeing that you don't "celebrate" it.
Man, would I love to join that chorus.
After all, like I've shared in the past (as in, say, maybe a little under a year ago?) this is yet another holiday that appears to have been relegated to little more than a marketing bonanza for the diamond industry. And this no sooner than you swallowed hard and paid the credit card bill from Christmas.
But this time, I've done some thinking. And I'm all but sure that The Leading Man would rather take back Valentine's Day in a brazen coup than surrender it to commercialism and…God forbid…"Mr. Nice Guy".
That's right, instead of whining about how Valentine's Day forces us guys to "put a woman on a pedestal" or something, I exhort you to MAKE YOUR OWN RULES this year.
Embrace Valentine's Day…but make like Frank and do it YOUR WAY.
I say this because you, as a "Big Four" man, need to TAKE CHARGE and build the habit of creating romantic moments that melt women on a regular basis.
I say this because I've gotten a jolt of lightning recently that screamed out, "Wait a minute, stupid, every woman in North America is PRIMED-or make that HARD WIRED--to have her femininity ignited on February 14th."
And I say this because, well, you really have no choice, buddy. Valentine's Day falls on a SATURDAY this year. Oh snap.
Face it, a couple of years ago, when V-day was kind enough to fall on a Thursday, I laid out a step-by-step plan on how you could literally date six or seven women at once and make all of them thrilled with you over a four day period.
This year, you can tear up that game plan. Saturday night is THE night. And there won't be any excuses.
This means several things.
First of all, if you have your sights set on one woman, it's a no brainer. You make plans with her for the night of the 14th. And you go with the flow, enjoying the heck out of a nice romantic evening together with your favorite woman.
And if this describes you, you've been given a MASSIVE GIFT. You see, every single fancy restaurant and swanky dance club in your town is going to be BOOKED SOLID by a bunch of "Mr. Nice Guys" lining up to spend $$$ on that woman they are trying to impress.
If Valentine's Day is on a Monday it's crowded enough out there. But a Saturday, Are you kidding me?
Monday, February 14, 2011
Sunday, February 13, 2011
How to avoid cliches this Valentine’s Day with your partner
With Valentine’s less than two weeks away we get into the familiar territory of guys trying to be either cool (which means we are going to go for the macho, I do not really believe in all this stuff) or romantic (cue for red roses, red heart balloons, evenings out and boxes of dark chocolates) and will face the familiar dilemma of what to get their girlfriends, wives and partners to celebrate a day which now contains more commercialization than Christmas.
Those who have mistresses (or see it as an opportunity to take their sex life up a notch) will go for lingerie because it’s fun, funny and helps make the point about commercialization), those who are stamped (yeah, what can a guy get a girl to make her notice him) will opt for flowers and chocolates and there will also be those who suddenly feel the urge to use the day for the bended knee here is a ring trick.
Valentine's Day is an opportunity to get past the marketing cliches and do something meaningful with your partner.
Valentine's Day is an opportunity to get past the marketing cliches and do something meaningful with your partner.
The repeated for added emphasis question here is why? Why? Why? Why should we suddenly feel the need to be more romantic, more expressive and more appreciative of love on February 14 than on any other given day of the year? Does life suddenly become simpler? Do financial worries vanish into thin air? Does sex become hotter? Do inhibitions that have been holding us back all year suddenly disappear?
The truth is that if you are really into your partner, if you love them and appreciate them you probably find ways to make them feel special, loved and wanted every single day of the year. From a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice in the morning to a cup of coffee brought in bed to a surprise evening out. These things take little major planning, do not cost the earth and as far as gestures of appreciation go are more in tune with love and loving than any bunch of red roses and red heart Valentine’s Day cards.
Still I understand that the pressure remains and we now need to do something because to do nothing is simply not an option (blame the media and girls everywhere for this state of affairs now), so you need to know what, right?
The trick here is to pull off the impossible and be original. Nights out are ok but unless you have Seine as a view (or the Niagara falls) and the chef has four stars in the Michelin guide there is little point in going for that. Similarly a transatlantic flight and a chartered jet kind of create the right mood and sense of being special but if it is possible for it to happen the chances are that it already has so we are back to square one. For originality here you need to apply reverse psychology:
1. Go out early for a movie (reverse the order of the process) and arrange for caterers to come at home. Not only will you get the full flavor of going out but suddenly you control the menu, the food and the setting right down to the right kind of lighting and music and (added bonus) the bedroom is not that far away.
2. Take the day off and just spend it together. You don’t need fancy gifts, restaurants, cinemas or presents when the whole day suddenly becomes yours. Go to the park, read the papers. Eat ice-cream (even in winter) and just enjoy each other’s company (and if you have kids find a way to get rid of them which does not involve becoming active in the white slave trade or homicide - remember you do want them back the net day).
3. Create a special gift just for your partner. It might be a photo-album. It could be an origami angel or even a special, intricate meal you have cooked just for your partner. It needs to be from you, it needs to involve the kind of effort which makes this a true ‘labour of love’ and it needs to be something you know your partner will like.
4. Think big. When it comes to special days and special presents (and Valentine’s Day certainly qualifies as Special) size really matters. I’d suggest you could book a venue just for the two of you but this is both grandiose and expensive (particularly on Valentine’s Day) so think big in other ways. Find the biggest card and the largest single chocolate money can buy (suddenly two old, tired cliché gifts are revamped thanks to the magic of size). Hire a limo for the day or even get a guided tour of your town or city (you’d be surprised just how many things you do not know about it). Have a picnic (weather permitting) and make it huge with chilled champagne, great food, fold out tables and chairs. Yes, I know it takes planning but hopefully this is exactly why you’re reading this guide right now, right?
5. Think creative. If you can write why not surprise your partner with a story, something which describes how you really feel about them? Try a poem but be really honest with yourself. If you have no real skill in this direction but like to dabble from time to time then this is not the way to go. Try making a video of your partner (and either edit it yourself or get it professionally edited), create a photo album of your special moments to date together. Create a scrapbook of something which is important to both of you. The cost here can be really small or really big. This is not what matters. What’s important is that you have thought about it in some depth. You have put in some time and considerable effort because it is a token of your love.
For better or worse (and yep you can also add for richer or poorer) Valentine’s Day is here to stay. Making it special every year is definitely a challenge for the couple who have been together for some time. It is also a challenge in times when there is little time or not enough money or both. This does not mean you’re off the hook though. Commercialized and cliched as Valentine’s Day may be it is still a great opportunity for you to make the most of it with your partner and have a fantastic time which will only help to re-affirm your relationship together and that is a great thing indeed.
Those who have mistresses (or see it as an opportunity to take their sex life up a notch) will go for lingerie because it’s fun, funny and helps make the point about commercialization), those who are stamped (yeah, what can a guy get a girl to make her notice him) will opt for flowers and chocolates and there will also be those who suddenly feel the urge to use the day for the bended knee here is a ring trick.
Valentine's Day is an opportunity to get past the marketing cliches and do something meaningful with your partner.
Valentine's Day is an opportunity to get past the marketing cliches and do something meaningful with your partner.
The repeated for added emphasis question here is why? Why? Why? Why should we suddenly feel the need to be more romantic, more expressive and more appreciative of love on February 14 than on any other given day of the year? Does life suddenly become simpler? Do financial worries vanish into thin air? Does sex become hotter? Do inhibitions that have been holding us back all year suddenly disappear?
The truth is that if you are really into your partner, if you love them and appreciate them you probably find ways to make them feel special, loved and wanted every single day of the year. From a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice in the morning to a cup of coffee brought in bed to a surprise evening out. These things take little major planning, do not cost the earth and as far as gestures of appreciation go are more in tune with love and loving than any bunch of red roses and red heart Valentine’s Day cards.
Still I understand that the pressure remains and we now need to do something because to do nothing is simply not an option (blame the media and girls everywhere for this state of affairs now), so you need to know what, right?
The trick here is to pull off the impossible and be original. Nights out are ok but unless you have Seine as a view (or the Niagara falls) and the chef has four stars in the Michelin guide there is little point in going for that. Similarly a transatlantic flight and a chartered jet kind of create the right mood and sense of being special but if it is possible for it to happen the chances are that it already has so we are back to square one. For originality here you need to apply reverse psychology:
1. Go out early for a movie (reverse the order of the process) and arrange for caterers to come at home. Not only will you get the full flavor of going out but suddenly you control the menu, the food and the setting right down to the right kind of lighting and music and (added bonus) the bedroom is not that far away.
2. Take the day off and just spend it together. You don’t need fancy gifts, restaurants, cinemas or presents when the whole day suddenly becomes yours. Go to the park, read the papers. Eat ice-cream (even in winter) and just enjoy each other’s company (and if you have kids find a way to get rid of them which does not involve becoming active in the white slave trade or homicide - remember you do want them back the net day).
3. Create a special gift just for your partner. It might be a photo-album. It could be an origami angel or even a special, intricate meal you have cooked just for your partner. It needs to be from you, it needs to involve the kind of effort which makes this a true ‘labour of love’ and it needs to be something you know your partner will like.
4. Think big. When it comes to special days and special presents (and Valentine’s Day certainly qualifies as Special) size really matters. I’d suggest you could book a venue just for the two of you but this is both grandiose and expensive (particularly on Valentine’s Day) so think big in other ways. Find the biggest card and the largest single chocolate money can buy (suddenly two old, tired cliché gifts are revamped thanks to the magic of size). Hire a limo for the day or even get a guided tour of your town or city (you’d be surprised just how many things you do not know about it). Have a picnic (weather permitting) and make it huge with chilled champagne, great food, fold out tables and chairs. Yes, I know it takes planning but hopefully this is exactly why you’re reading this guide right now, right?
5. Think creative. If you can write why not surprise your partner with a story, something which describes how you really feel about them? Try a poem but be really honest with yourself. If you have no real skill in this direction but like to dabble from time to time then this is not the way to go. Try making a video of your partner (and either edit it yourself or get it professionally edited), create a photo album of your special moments to date together. Create a scrapbook of something which is important to both of you. The cost here can be really small or really big. This is not what matters. What’s important is that you have thought about it in some depth. You have put in some time and considerable effort because it is a token of your love.
For better or worse (and yep you can also add for richer or poorer) Valentine’s Day is here to stay. Making it special every year is definitely a challenge for the couple who have been together for some time. It is also a challenge in times when there is little time or not enough money or both. This does not mean you’re off the hook though. Commercialized and cliched as Valentine’s Day may be it is still a great opportunity for you to make the most of it with your partner and have a fantastic time which will only help to re-affirm your relationship together and that is a great thing indeed.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Valentines Gifts From the Heart for Your Significant Other
This Valentine's day I'd like to challenge you to give your significant other a gift that shows how much you value him or her. The gifts suggested here cost very little if any money. They do require that you give something of yourself. You may even be reminded of how you treated your partner when you were courting. Given in a spirit of love, these gifts send a message that you understand and validate his or her needs as a man or woman. You may even want to show the list to your partner and ask which gift would be most appreciated.
Three Gifts to Meet Your Man's Needs for Validation and Appreciation
1- Arrange for him to watch his favorite sporting event without interruptions. Prepare and serve some of his favorite snacks. If you're a fan too, great! Join the fun and watch together. If not, spend some time watching the show with him. Find something of interest to ask questions about during the commercial or break in activity. Or, if there's a local event that relates to one of his interests, purchase tickets and go together.
2- Put on something sexy or an outfit he really likes seeing you in. Men are visual by design and like to see you in something appealing. Don't worry that you don't have a perfect body, he really doesn't care. He does care that you think he's desirable and that you want to entice him and look good for him. Take this a step further and give him a massage. Let it lead to something. Although it may be the male that usually pursues, once in a while he likes for you to initiate.
3- Give him a card listing at least three things you genuinely appreciate about him. For the entire day, or longer, refrain from complaining, nagging or giving him the evil eye. Feel free to genuinely compliment and praise him throughout the day. Remind him (and yourself) what you love and value about him.
Three Gifts to Meet Your Man's Needs for Validation and Appreciation
1- Arrange for him to watch his favorite sporting event without interruptions. Prepare and serve some of his favorite snacks. If you're a fan too, great! Join the fun and watch together. If not, spend some time watching the show with him. Find something of interest to ask questions about during the commercial or break in activity. Or, if there's a local event that relates to one of his interests, purchase tickets and go together.
2- Put on something sexy or an outfit he really likes seeing you in. Men are visual by design and like to see you in something appealing. Don't worry that you don't have a perfect body, he really doesn't care. He does care that you think he's desirable and that you want to entice him and look good for him. Take this a step further and give him a massage. Let it lead to something. Although it may be the male that usually pursues, once in a while he likes for you to initiate.
3- Give him a card listing at least three things you genuinely appreciate about him. For the entire day, or longer, refrain from complaining, nagging or giving him the evil eye. Feel free to genuinely compliment and praise him throughout the day. Remind him (and yourself) what you love and value about him.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas for that special one
One of the simplest, and most popular, Valentine’s Day gifts is a simple card. It may not seem like much but many people, women in particular, would say a card is one of the best gifts they could receive on Valentine’s Day. However, not just any card makes a great gift. The best cards are cards which really express your feelings about your loved one and your relationship. You can find cards available with a printed statement which may work well for your situation. You can also find cards which are blank inside where you fill in the card with your own emotions. If you can’t find a card that suits your needs, you can even try making your own card.
Jewellery is another great gift idea for Valentine’s Day. Simple earrings might be appropriate for a new relationship while a more expensive gift would be appropriate for a relationship which is more deeply rooted. Regardless of the price of the gift, the jewellery you give to your partner on Valentine’s Day will be something she will really appreciate. Pay particular attention to the type of jewellery she already wears and this will give you a good indication of the type of jewellery she likes. For example, if she always wears silver or white gold jewellery, purchasing yellow gold may not be a great idea because she may not particularly like this style.
A weekend getaway is another great gift idea for Valentine’s Day. Although this type of gift is definitely most appropriate for couples who have been dating for awhile or who are married. If you and your partner have never travelled together before, it may still be okay to give this type of gift for Valentine’s Day but you might want to discuss the gift with your partner beforehand as opposed to surprising him or her with the gift. This will help to make sure your partner is comfortable with this type of gift.
What would Valentine’s Day be without candy? One of the most traditional gifts on Valentine’s Day is flowers and candy. While this a gift which is most appreciated, most women will agree the candy is their favourite part of the gift. Flowers are beautiful and are always appreciated but chocolates are also always appreciated. If you are planning to give chocolate for Valentine’s Day try making the gift a little more unique. Instead of a traditional heart shaped box of assorted chocolates, try making a bouquet out of your partner’s favourite candy bars. You can even wrap up the candy bouquet like flowers. This puts a unique spin on a traditional gift idea and helps to ensure your partner will love the gift.
Finally, there is no reason why Valentine’s Day gifts have to be any different than gifts you would give for other occasions such as a birthday or Christmas. You can certainly give items such as clothing, DVDs, CDs, electronic gadgets or any other item you know your partner will appreciate. As long as you are giving your partner a gift you know he or she will appreciate. It can make a great gift idea for Valentine’s Day. Just remember to Put some effort into it, Have your gift specially wrapped and present it in the correct environment/ atmosphere. Make it Romantic.
Jewellery is another great gift idea for Valentine’s Day. Simple earrings might be appropriate for a new relationship while a more expensive gift would be appropriate for a relationship which is more deeply rooted. Regardless of the price of the gift, the jewellery you give to your partner on Valentine’s Day will be something she will really appreciate. Pay particular attention to the type of jewellery she already wears and this will give you a good indication of the type of jewellery she likes. For example, if she always wears silver or white gold jewellery, purchasing yellow gold may not be a great idea because she may not particularly like this style.
A weekend getaway is another great gift idea for Valentine’s Day. Although this type of gift is definitely most appropriate for couples who have been dating for awhile or who are married. If you and your partner have never travelled together before, it may still be okay to give this type of gift for Valentine’s Day but you might want to discuss the gift with your partner beforehand as opposed to surprising him or her with the gift. This will help to make sure your partner is comfortable with this type of gift.
What would Valentine’s Day be without candy? One of the most traditional gifts on Valentine’s Day is flowers and candy. While this a gift which is most appreciated, most women will agree the candy is their favourite part of the gift. Flowers are beautiful and are always appreciated but chocolates are also always appreciated. If you are planning to give chocolate for Valentine’s Day try making the gift a little more unique. Instead of a traditional heart shaped box of assorted chocolates, try making a bouquet out of your partner’s favourite candy bars. You can even wrap up the candy bouquet like flowers. This puts a unique spin on a traditional gift idea and helps to ensure your partner will love the gift.
Finally, there is no reason why Valentine’s Day gifts have to be any different than gifts you would give for other occasions such as a birthday or Christmas. You can certainly give items such as clothing, DVDs, CDs, electronic gadgets or any other item you know your partner will appreciate. As long as you are giving your partner a gift you know he or she will appreciate. It can make a great gift idea for Valentine’s Day. Just remember to Put some effort into it, Have your gift specially wrapped and present it in the correct environment/ atmosphere. Make it Romantic.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
3 Great Ideas To Make A Man Fall In Love With You
To make a man fall in love with you is quite easy, especially when you put your heart into it.
You just need to understand that a man is a straightforward being, and will see you in how you present yourself for the first time.
Here are 3 basic ideas to make a man fall in love with you: 1) how you look, 2) how you act, and 3) how you present yourself to him. Now let's get started, ladies!
Idea # 1: How You Look.
Normally, a man will usually judge a woman in how she dresses, put her make up, the perfume she's wearing, or even the way her lips move when she talks.
If you really want to make a man fall in love with you permanently, then bring out the heavy artillery into the open, figuratively speaking of course. Wear your sexiest dress, put on the most attractive make-up, get your hair done like a goddess, and arm yourself with scents that will turn his knees to butter.
Idea # 2: How You Act.
You need to keep a tight rein on your actions when you start making moves with your intended target.
Be alert of your actions. Don’t let him have any clue that you might be nervous or tensed.
Keep a close eye on your partner's reaction regarding certain body movements or during conversation. You can practically read their body language if they like what they're seeing, or not. Change your tactic as you see fit.
Idea # 3: How You Present Yourself to Him.
Many men aren’t into conservative women. They are often drawn into assertive ladies on the dance floor having fun with the rest of the people.
If you are one of those arch-conservative types, then you better throw your beliefs out the window and get in touch with your wild side.
Show some affection and tease your man for all his worth. Bring him to your way of thinking with suggestive looks, fluttering eyelashes, or even with a lick on the lips. If you are really in a daring mood, you can start touching him in safe places that will practically turn them inside out.
To make a man fall in love with you permanently, you need to be someone that catches his attention – physically, mentally, and emotionally in one sexy package.
You just need to understand that a man is a straightforward being, and will see you in how you present yourself for the first time.
Here are 3 basic ideas to make a man fall in love with you: 1) how you look, 2) how you act, and 3) how you present yourself to him. Now let's get started, ladies!
Idea # 1: How You Look.
Normally, a man will usually judge a woman in how she dresses, put her make up, the perfume she's wearing, or even the way her lips move when she talks.
If you really want to make a man fall in love with you permanently, then bring out the heavy artillery into the open, figuratively speaking of course. Wear your sexiest dress, put on the most attractive make-up, get your hair done like a goddess, and arm yourself with scents that will turn his knees to butter.
Idea # 2: How You Act.
You need to keep a tight rein on your actions when you start making moves with your intended target.
Be alert of your actions. Don’t let him have any clue that you might be nervous or tensed.
Keep a close eye on your partner's reaction regarding certain body movements or during conversation. You can practically read their body language if they like what they're seeing, or not. Change your tactic as you see fit.
Idea # 3: How You Present Yourself to Him.
Many men aren’t into conservative women. They are often drawn into assertive ladies on the dance floor having fun with the rest of the people.
If you are one of those arch-conservative types, then you better throw your beliefs out the window and get in touch with your wild side.
Show some affection and tease your man for all his worth. Bring him to your way of thinking with suggestive looks, fluttering eyelashes, or even with a lick on the lips. If you are really in a daring mood, you can start touching him in safe places that will practically turn them inside out.
To make a man fall in love with you permanently, you need to be someone that catches his attention – physically, mentally, and emotionally in one sexy package.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Top 10 valentine tips to stay happily married
1. "Show your partner why you are choosing them over everyone else."
2. "Present them with an IOU offering them a special service they'll love."
3. "Start a new tradition by writing a gratitude journal together."
4. "Send your partner a Valentine's Day card to their work or home address."
5. "Make a special connection through spending quality time together."
6. "Tuck away thoughtful notes where you know your partner will see them."
7. "Make your relationship better by openly listening to your partner."
8. "Do something you used to do as a couple when you first met."
9. "Give a gift that speaks your spouse's love language."
10. "Create a book for your partner highlighting special moments you've shared."
2. "Present them with an IOU offering them a special service they'll love."
3. "Start a new tradition by writing a gratitude journal together."
4. "Send your partner a Valentine's Day card to their work or home address."
5. "Make a special connection through spending quality time together."
6. "Tuck away thoughtful notes where you know your partner will see them."
7. "Make your relationship better by openly listening to your partner."
8. "Do something you used to do as a couple when you first met."
9. "Give a gift that speaks your spouse's love language."
10. "Create a book for your partner highlighting special moments you've shared."
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Inexpensive Valentine's Day Ideas
With everyone tightening their belts this year, there is no reason that Valentines Day needs to suffer. Quite to the contrary, building an evening of romance on a limited budget is a great exercise to show that love romance and intimacy is not tied to your wallet or pocketbook. Its simply about the two of you spending time together, sharing and having fun.
With everyones lives being extremely stressful this year, a great theme for Valentines Day is Teamwork! Use Valentines Day as a reminder of the basics: Whatever situation the economy has put you in, you are a team and can get through it together.
Here are a few tips to begin thinking about for this Valentines Day.
1. Lower your expectations.Like many holidays, we seem to build expectations of what would constitute the perfect Valentines Day. Anything short of that perfect vision then leaves you feeling unsatisfied. There are many things out of your control, understand that real life will more than likely interfere at some point.
2. Plan with your partner. We all like surprises and to see our partner make the effort to plan something they think we would enjoy. With life being extremely stressful this year, make it a team building exercise and plan it together.
3. Think communication. Last month, we found a store than sells bulk candy, including some of the cheap penny candies we havent seen since we were kids. We filled the bag, and plan on eating it on Valentines Day, talking about the childhood memories the candy brings back. Similarly, look through childhood pictures, yearbooks or mementos and the memories associated with it. Youll be surprised at how fulfilling it can be, and how much you can still learn about your partner.
4. Eating Out. Going out to dinner is a Valentines Day tradition for many. If its a tradition you would like to keep, begin searching your local newspaper now for Valentines Day specials. Also search online for coupons and specials. It doesnt sound sexy or romantic, but also doesnt leave you with regret the next day for breaking your budget. Planning it ahead gives you the opportunity to scout the best deals plan your budget and not be stressed about it on Valentines Day.
5. Eating In If you are planning on staying in, plan a meal you can cook together. A variety of small finger foods is great, since you can cook, nibble and talk all at the same time.
6. No TV, no movies TV and movies allow you to do one thing, watch. Think interaction instead. Ask friends if you can borrow a few board games that you dont currently own for the evening, so that you have a variety of different to choose from.
7. Mentally prepare With the stresses of daily life, it becomes hard to suddenly unwind and relax. Everyone needs downtime from the business end of life to recharge their batteries. Begin reminding yourself now that you are allowed to take time off from the worries of daily life and enjoy each others company.
8. Have a trial run Similarly to number 7, its hard to suddenly sit still and relax. Pick an evening or two before Valentines Day to spend some time together. Its only natural that sitting down and spending time together wil lead to discussions of work, finance and the kids. Planning on time beforehand allows you to purge yourself of those issues, and make Valentines Day about the two of you.
With everyones lives being extremely stressful this year, a great theme for Valentines Day is Teamwork! Use Valentines Day as a reminder of the basics: Whatever situation the economy has put you in, you are a team and can get through it together.
Here are a few tips to begin thinking about for this Valentines Day.
1. Lower your expectations.Like many holidays, we seem to build expectations of what would constitute the perfect Valentines Day. Anything short of that perfect vision then leaves you feeling unsatisfied. There are many things out of your control, understand that real life will more than likely interfere at some point.
2. Plan with your partner. We all like surprises and to see our partner make the effort to plan something they think we would enjoy. With life being extremely stressful this year, make it a team building exercise and plan it together.
3. Think communication. Last month, we found a store than sells bulk candy, including some of the cheap penny candies we havent seen since we were kids. We filled the bag, and plan on eating it on Valentines Day, talking about the childhood memories the candy brings back. Similarly, look through childhood pictures, yearbooks or mementos and the memories associated with it. Youll be surprised at how fulfilling it can be, and how much you can still learn about your partner.
4. Eating Out. Going out to dinner is a Valentines Day tradition for many. If its a tradition you would like to keep, begin searching your local newspaper now for Valentines Day specials. Also search online for coupons and specials. It doesnt sound sexy or romantic, but also doesnt leave you with regret the next day for breaking your budget. Planning it ahead gives you the opportunity to scout the best deals plan your budget and not be stressed about it on Valentines Day.
5. Eating In If you are planning on staying in, plan a meal you can cook together. A variety of small finger foods is great, since you can cook, nibble and talk all at the same time.
6. No TV, no movies TV and movies allow you to do one thing, watch. Think interaction instead. Ask friends if you can borrow a few board games that you dont currently own for the evening, so that you have a variety of different to choose from.
7. Mentally prepare With the stresses of daily life, it becomes hard to suddenly unwind and relax. Everyone needs downtime from the business end of life to recharge their batteries. Begin reminding yourself now that you are allowed to take time off from the worries of daily life and enjoy each others company.
8. Have a trial run Similarly to number 7, its hard to suddenly sit still and relax. Pick an evening or two before Valentines Day to spend some time together. Its only natural that sitting down and spending time together wil lead to discussions of work, finance and the kids. Planning on time beforehand allows you to purge yourself of those issues, and make Valentines Day about the two of you.
Monday, February 7, 2011
How to Tell Your Partner You Love Them
Remember the words from an old song...
"Be sure it's true when you say I love you, it's a sin to tell a lie".
The concept of "sin" has lost its meaning for many in our modern era, and even "love" has lost a significant portion of its importance.
If you still believe in "falling in love" then you will realize how difficult it is to say, "I love you" in a meaningful way. Three little words that can change your life forever. The words, themselves, have lost their meaning because of overuse, especially when it's not really true. Everybody says them, for many different reasons, even if they don't mean them.
However, when you really want tell your partner of your love it's such a hard decision to make for many reasons. Will your partner return your love? Will your partner simply accept your declaration with indifference? Will he or she feel threatened? It is such a common problem that even "The Seinfeld Show" had an episode on it.
So make it easy on yourself and plan the declaration so that as much as possible you eliminate the problems. The first step, of course, is to be certain you really are in love. If you so enjoy being with your partner that you want to be with him or her to the exclusion of all others, if you think of him or her every day when you are apart, you are probably in love. If you have even a small doubt you should wait a little longer.
If you are certain then plan a special occasion for it. Make it a significant moment in your life - one to remember with fondness for your whole life. Arrange an intimate dinner at your favorite restaurant and make it as romantic as you can. Give him or her a small gift because you love being with them, or you are so glad that you met them.
After dinner while holding your partner intimately gaze intently into their eyes and say, "I love you so much it hurts when we are apart. I hope that we can stay together forever".
Do not be disappointed if your partner does not return your declaration. They may not yet be ready and might need more time to state their feelings. Continue to share with your partner the highs and lows of your partner's life. Care for your partner's happiness and be on guard to protect his happiness.
Under no circumstances should you ever ask your partner, "Do you love me"?
"Be sure it's true when you say I love you, it's a sin to tell a lie".
The concept of "sin" has lost its meaning for many in our modern era, and even "love" has lost a significant portion of its importance.
If you still believe in "falling in love" then you will realize how difficult it is to say, "I love you" in a meaningful way. Three little words that can change your life forever. The words, themselves, have lost their meaning because of overuse, especially when it's not really true. Everybody says them, for many different reasons, even if they don't mean them.
However, when you really want tell your partner of your love it's such a hard decision to make for many reasons. Will your partner return your love? Will your partner simply accept your declaration with indifference? Will he or she feel threatened? It is such a common problem that even "The Seinfeld Show" had an episode on it.
So make it easy on yourself and plan the declaration so that as much as possible you eliminate the problems. The first step, of course, is to be certain you really are in love. If you so enjoy being with your partner that you want to be with him or her to the exclusion of all others, if you think of him or her every day when you are apart, you are probably in love. If you have even a small doubt you should wait a little longer.
If you are certain then plan a special occasion for it. Make it a significant moment in your life - one to remember with fondness for your whole life. Arrange an intimate dinner at your favorite restaurant and make it as romantic as you can. Give him or her a small gift because you love being with them, or you are so glad that you met them.
After dinner while holding your partner intimately gaze intently into their eyes and say, "I love you so much it hurts when we are apart. I hope that we can stay together forever".
Do not be disappointed if your partner does not return your declaration. They may not yet be ready and might need more time to state their feelings. Continue to share with your partner the highs and lows of your partner's life. Care for your partner's happiness and be on guard to protect his happiness.
Under no circumstances should you ever ask your partner, "Do you love me"?
Sunday, February 6, 2011
3 Things your woman needs for emotional bonding and appreciation
1- Give her 100% of your attention when she talks to you. Put down the paper or turn off the TV. Women know if you are only half-listening or pretending to listen. You may be pleasantly surprised at how calmly and quickly she says what's on her mind when you give her all of your attention. Listen and respond patiently and kindly. If she starts talking at a bad time, tell her and set a time that is good for you both (sooner rather than later). Then stick to it without making her ask or remind you.
2- Take her to that romantic movie or "chick flick", you know she wants to see. Most women love romance and want to share it with you. Plan the event yourself and make it a real date. Make all arrangements for a sitter if you have children. If you can't afford to go out, rent the movie. Prepare snacks or a nice meal for her. Of course, include some chocolates! And make sure you do the cleaning up after wards.
3- Finish at least one item on her Honey-do list. Or clean your living space. Many women find it very bonding and sexy when her man helps out around the house, especially when he initiates it or works happily with her.
The best thing about these gifts is that you can give them any time of year, as often as you like. There's no need to wait for a special holiday to show your special someone how much they are loved. You may just find in the giving, that you too receive the greatest gift of all in return, the love and appreciation of your partner in return.
This trumps even Valentine's Day on a Friday. After all, were those the case you might be able to get away with planning something for Saturday with her instead? But it's not like you can substitute Friday the 13th for Valentine's Day and expect to get away with it.
So you may be thinking you have to gut it out and fight the crowds for the sake of "tradition" or something. Forget about it. Like I said, this is the year you're going to TAKE CHARGE and MAKE YOUR OWN RULES. Instead of "celebrating" Valentine's Day, start "celebrating" the woman in your life.
The year I met Emily, I did this to a certain degree by planning a BACKWARDS evening. That's right. I took her dancing at 7pm, hours before the crowds arrived…and caught dinner at 10.30 or so, long after everyone else was finished eating. All she remembers nowadays are the memories themselves, not at what time they happened.
But really, I think you can be even more creative than that.
If you live somewhere reasonably warm this time of year (like Australia, for instance) why not take it outdoors? Have you ever planned a moonlight picnic? If not, do it. You're only five days off from a full moon this year. Get away from other people and ignite that femininity in private.
2- Take her to that romantic movie or "chick flick", you know she wants to see. Most women love romance and want to share it with you. Plan the event yourself and make it a real date. Make all arrangements for a sitter if you have children. If you can't afford to go out, rent the movie. Prepare snacks or a nice meal for her. Of course, include some chocolates! And make sure you do the cleaning up after wards.
3- Finish at least one item on her Honey-do list. Or clean your living space. Many women find it very bonding and sexy when her man helps out around the house, especially when he initiates it or works happily with her.
The best thing about these gifts is that you can give them any time of year, as often as you like. There's no need to wait for a special holiday to show your special someone how much they are loved. You may just find in the giving, that you too receive the greatest gift of all in return, the love and appreciation of your partner in return.
This trumps even Valentine's Day on a Friday. After all, were those the case you might be able to get away with planning something for Saturday with her instead? But it's not like you can substitute Friday the 13th for Valentine's Day and expect to get away with it.
So you may be thinking you have to gut it out and fight the crowds for the sake of "tradition" or something. Forget about it. Like I said, this is the year you're going to TAKE CHARGE and MAKE YOUR OWN RULES. Instead of "celebrating" Valentine's Day, start "celebrating" the woman in your life.
The year I met Emily, I did this to a certain degree by planning a BACKWARDS evening. That's right. I took her dancing at 7pm, hours before the crowds arrived…and caught dinner at 10.30 or so, long after everyone else was finished eating. All she remembers nowadays are the memories themselves, not at what time they happened.
But really, I think you can be even more creative than that.
If you live somewhere reasonably warm this time of year (like Australia, for instance) why not take it outdoors? Have you ever planned a moonlight picnic? If not, do it. You're only five days off from a full moon this year. Get away from other people and ignite that femininity in private.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
8 Unfailing Laws of Happy Relationships
Despite all our training in life, we seldom learn about the knitty gritty of relationships, what the simple laws is that make them all we want them to be. Discover some of the laws in this article and learn what steps to take to make things right.
Most think that relationships exist to make them happy. When they find that special person, they believe that love will naturally grow. But in relationships we encounter everything, challenges, joy, fulfillment, loss. Yet, despite all training in life, we seldom learn about the knitty gritty of relationships, how to build the relationship in a way that brings out the best in all.
To start this process, there are 7 simple laws we can learn and use. These laws will act as guideposts, helping us to choose wisely and to avoid costly mistakes.
Law #1 - There is never a lack of relationships. Relationships are abundantly available wherever you are.
Many live with the idea that love is scarce -there's not enough to go around and that they must cling to whatever comes their way. This idea can cause them to get involved with the wrong person, or stay in a relationship that is toxic for them. It is crucial to realize that relationships are plentiful. (If you don’t have one, it is because you are keeping it away). It is never necessary to cling to someone out of fear of being alone.
Law # 2 - Know Who You Are And What You Really Want.
Many enter relationships hoping that it will give them a life, or make them feel better about themselves. They may want their partner to take care of them, or give them the approval they’ve been denied. But it is of the utmost importance to know and respect who you are, to enjoy your own company and be aware of your own values and goals. Otherwise, you can lost in a relationship, become a pawn in someone else’s world.. A healthy relationship is an expression of two people, both equally valuable. In this kind of relationship you discover all you have to offer and how to offer it.
Law #3 - Don't Keep Choosing The Wrong Person For You.
Some find, to their amazement, that they choose the same partner, over and over again. Relationships patterns repeat as well. This is called the repetition compulsion. It is the unconscious need to repeat a situation over and over until we master it or it turns out the way we want it to. This compulsion keeps some people stuck in a bind.
If you are caught in this, see what this pattern is doing for you. Actively choose different places to go and individuals who are different from those you usually meet. Become stronger than the pattern. Turn you life around.
Law #4 - Enjoy Honest Communication.
Without the ability to say No, we cannot say yes. Don't pretend to be someone you're not to make another happy. Don't give up that which is meaningful to you for the sake of a friendship. The bedrock of all happy relationships is mutual respect and acceptance and open, honest, communication. Ask for what is important to you. Find out what is really going on for your partner. When a person really feels listened to and accepted they feel loved.
Law #5 - Don’t Try To Change Or Fix Other Person.
Let everyone be who they are, including you. So many of us are obsessed with changing or fixing everyone. This is not friendship, but manipulation. . Many believe that if the person cared enough, they would certainly change for them. This is not so. Changing another is not your job. Find out who the person you are with really is. If someone feels accepted, they can change themselves, if they want to.
Law # 6 - Know Difference between Real and Counterfeit Love.
Feeling happy, high, excited or attached to a person, feeling possessive or dependent is not love. Its infatuation, ego thrills or dependency, usually based upon fantasy. Inevitably, fantasies fade. People then feel that the love is over. It is not over, it’s just been a form of counterfeit love. We must learn the difference between real and counterfeit love, between love and fantasy.
Counterfeit love always involves struggle and pain. Real love never does. Real love is a verb. It is not based simply upon feelings, which come and go, but actions. It is important to learn "to do love". Love and you will be loved in return.
Law #7 - See the Best In Others - And In You.
What we see in others, we bring out in them. If we focus upon their negative points (and let them know about them), you can be certain the negativity will increase. When we focus upon what is good in that person and let them know, this brings out the best. The better a person then feels about themselves, the less need they have for negativity. Often it can just fall away on its own.
Law #8 - The Master Law. When They Come We Welcome, When They Go We Do Not Pursue
Understand that each relationship lasts for a certain time. You've come together to learn from one another, to share, enjoy and often move along. This is not rejection, but growth and change. Change is natural and inevitable. Don't see it as failure. Don't see it as loss. Don't try to control when time comes to go. Realize that if the person is supposed to be with you longer, they will return on their own. The greatest art of relationships is to know how to let go. When someone new comes welcome them, when it's time to let go, thank the person for all you've received from them and let go.
Most think that relationships exist to make them happy. When they find that special person, they believe that love will naturally grow. But in relationships we encounter everything, challenges, joy, fulfillment, loss. Yet, despite all training in life, we seldom learn about the knitty gritty of relationships, how to build the relationship in a way that brings out the best in all.
To start this process, there are 7 simple laws we can learn and use. These laws will act as guideposts, helping us to choose wisely and to avoid costly mistakes.
Law #1 - There is never a lack of relationships. Relationships are abundantly available wherever you are.
Many live with the idea that love is scarce -there's not enough to go around and that they must cling to whatever comes their way. This idea can cause them to get involved with the wrong person, or stay in a relationship that is toxic for them. It is crucial to realize that relationships are plentiful. (If you don’t have one, it is because you are keeping it away). It is never necessary to cling to someone out of fear of being alone.
Law # 2 - Know Who You Are And What You Really Want.
Many enter relationships hoping that it will give them a life, or make them feel better about themselves. They may want their partner to take care of them, or give them the approval they’ve been denied. But it is of the utmost importance to know and respect who you are, to enjoy your own company and be aware of your own values and goals. Otherwise, you can lost in a relationship, become a pawn in someone else’s world.. A healthy relationship is an expression of two people, both equally valuable. In this kind of relationship you discover all you have to offer and how to offer it.
Law #3 - Don't Keep Choosing The Wrong Person For You.
Some find, to their amazement, that they choose the same partner, over and over again. Relationships patterns repeat as well. This is called the repetition compulsion. It is the unconscious need to repeat a situation over and over until we master it or it turns out the way we want it to. This compulsion keeps some people stuck in a bind.
If you are caught in this, see what this pattern is doing for you. Actively choose different places to go and individuals who are different from those you usually meet. Become stronger than the pattern. Turn you life around.
Law #4 - Enjoy Honest Communication.
Without the ability to say No, we cannot say yes. Don't pretend to be someone you're not to make another happy. Don't give up that which is meaningful to you for the sake of a friendship. The bedrock of all happy relationships is mutual respect and acceptance and open, honest, communication. Ask for what is important to you. Find out what is really going on for your partner. When a person really feels listened to and accepted they feel loved.
Law #5 - Don’t Try To Change Or Fix Other Person.
Let everyone be who they are, including you. So many of us are obsessed with changing or fixing everyone. This is not friendship, but manipulation. . Many believe that if the person cared enough, they would certainly change for them. This is not so. Changing another is not your job. Find out who the person you are with really is. If someone feels accepted, they can change themselves, if they want to.
Law # 6 - Know Difference between Real and Counterfeit Love.
Feeling happy, high, excited or attached to a person, feeling possessive or dependent is not love. Its infatuation, ego thrills or dependency, usually based upon fantasy. Inevitably, fantasies fade. People then feel that the love is over. It is not over, it’s just been a form of counterfeit love. We must learn the difference between real and counterfeit love, between love and fantasy.
Counterfeit love always involves struggle and pain. Real love never does. Real love is a verb. It is not based simply upon feelings, which come and go, but actions. It is important to learn "to do love". Love and you will be loved in return.
Law #7 - See the Best In Others - And In You.
What we see in others, we bring out in them. If we focus upon their negative points (and let them know about them), you can be certain the negativity will increase. When we focus upon what is good in that person and let them know, this brings out the best. The better a person then feels about themselves, the less need they have for negativity. Often it can just fall away on its own.
Law #8 - The Master Law. When They Come We Welcome, When They Go We Do Not Pursue
Understand that each relationship lasts for a certain time. You've come together to learn from one another, to share, enjoy and often move along. This is not rejection, but growth and change. Change is natural and inevitable. Don't see it as failure. Don't see it as loss. Don't try to control when time comes to go. Realize that if the person is supposed to be with you longer, they will return on their own. The greatest art of relationships is to know how to let go. When someone new comes welcome them, when it's time to let go, thank the person for all you've received from them and let go.
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