With Valentine’s less than two weeks away we get into the familiar territory of guys trying to be either cool (which means we are going to go for the macho, I do not really believe in all this stuff) or romantic (cue for red roses, red heart balloons, evenings out and boxes of dark chocolates) and will face the familiar dilemma of what to get their girlfriends, wives and partners to celebrate a day which now contains more commercialization than Christmas.
Those who have mistresses (or see it as an opportunity to take their sex life up a notch) will go for lingerie because it’s fun, funny and helps make the point about commercialization), those who are stamped (yeah, what can a guy get a girl to make her notice him) will opt for flowers and chocolates and there will also be those who suddenly feel the urge to use the day for the bended knee here is a ring trick.
Valentine's Day is an opportunity to get past the marketing cliches and do something meaningful with your partner.
Valentine's Day is an opportunity to get past the marketing cliches and do something meaningful with your partner.
The repeated for added emphasis question here is why? Why? Why? Why should we suddenly feel the need to be more romantic, more expressive and more appreciative of love on February 14 than on any other given day of the year? Does life suddenly become simpler? Do financial worries vanish into thin air? Does sex become hotter? Do inhibitions that have been holding us back all year suddenly disappear?
The truth is that if you are really into your partner, if you love them and appreciate them you probably find ways to make them feel special, loved and wanted every single day of the year. From a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice in the morning to a cup of coffee brought in bed to a surprise evening out. These things take little major planning, do not cost the earth and as far as gestures of appreciation go are more in tune with love and loving than any bunch of red roses and red heart Valentine’s Day cards.
Still I understand that the pressure remains and we now need to do something because to do nothing is simply not an option (blame the media and girls everywhere for this state of affairs now), so you need to know what, right?
The trick here is to pull off the impossible and be original. Nights out are ok but unless you have Seine as a view (or the Niagara falls) and the chef has four stars in the Michelin guide there is little point in going for that. Similarly a transatlantic flight and a chartered jet kind of create the right mood and sense of being special but if it is possible for it to happen the chances are that it already has so we are back to square one. For originality here you need to apply reverse psychology:
1. Go out early for a movie (reverse the order of the process) and arrange for caterers to come at home. Not only will you get the full flavor of going out but suddenly you control the menu, the food and the setting right down to the right kind of lighting and music and (added bonus) the bedroom is not that far away.
2. Take the day off and just spend it together. You don’t need fancy gifts, restaurants, cinemas or presents when the whole day suddenly becomes yours. Go to the park, read the papers. Eat ice-cream (even in winter) and just enjoy each other’s company (and if you have kids find a way to get rid of them which does not involve becoming active in the white slave trade or homicide - remember you do want them back the net day).
3. Create a special gift just for your partner. It might be a photo-album. It could be an origami angel or even a special, intricate meal you have cooked just for your partner. It needs to be from you, it needs to involve the kind of effort which makes this a true ‘labour of love’ and it needs to be something you know your partner will like.
4. Think big. When it comes to special days and special presents (and Valentine’s Day certainly qualifies as Special) size really matters. I’d suggest you could book a venue just for the two of you but this is both grandiose and expensive (particularly on Valentine’s Day) so think big in other ways. Find the biggest card and the largest single chocolate money can buy (suddenly two old, tired cliché gifts are revamped thanks to the magic of size). Hire a limo for the day or even get a guided tour of your town or city (you’d be surprised just how many things you do not know about it). Have a picnic (weather permitting) and make it huge with chilled champagne, great food, fold out tables and chairs. Yes, I know it takes planning but hopefully this is exactly why you’re reading this guide right now, right?
5. Think creative. If you can write why not surprise your partner with a story, something which describes how you really feel about them? Try a poem but be really honest with yourself. If you have no real skill in this direction but like to dabble from time to time then this is not the way to go. Try making a video of your partner (and either edit it yourself or get it professionally edited), create a photo album of your special moments to date together. Create a scrapbook of something which is important to both of you. The cost here can be really small or really big. This is not what matters. What’s important is that you have thought about it in some depth. You have put in some time and considerable effort because it is a token of your love.
For better or worse (and yep you can also add for richer or poorer) Valentine’s Day is here to stay. Making it special every year is definitely a challenge for the couple who have been together for some time. It is also a challenge in times when there is little time or not enough money or both. This does not mean you’re off the hook though. Commercialized and cliched as Valentine’s Day may be it is still a great opportunity for you to make the most of it with your partner and have a fantastic time which will only help to re-affirm your relationship together and that is a great thing indeed.
